Death has been a huge part of my life in the past three months. I lost my grandpa on December 23rd and since then a day has not passed when I haven't thought about death.
One of the first thoughts I had after my Grandpa died was about his parents and his grandparents. How proud they must have been of him and how they must have adored his handsome face when he was just a child. I often wonder doesn't it just make sense that you would be greeted by your mother in death and in heaven. Her body had literally been your home at one point in your life and when your body is giving out, I could not think of a more comfortable place than the arms of your mother. I wonder too, what my grandfather saw, who he saw, and what he felt as he crossed over. I guess I'll never know but I can only hope he felt something as comforting as his mother's arms.
The blog below talks about a chaplain's experience of people talking about their families as they approach death.
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/28/my-faith-what-people-talk-about-before-they-die/
The most striking thing for me in this article was her statement that the first and last classroom of love is the family. God is love. If you're family is a classroom of love then God most certainly is present in your family.
After I moved to Baltimore and before my grandfather died, it was so important to me to find a church here and tell him that I had. Part of the classroom of love that I experienced during my grandfathers life took place (in my early years 3-10 at least) sitting next to him in a baptist church pew in Kentucky and many rides in his Cadillac in my Sunday best. The sound of a church hymn will forever remind me of Grandpa's love of God and his love for me.
As a teenager and young adult, I strayed away from church. It bothered me a little and sometimes a lot. However, picking up a hymnal always tugged at my heartstrings. Now when I go to church, which doesnt happen every Sunday, I leave with my family on my mind and feeling closer to God. I try to explain to Nick often why a church service or a hymn makes me feel the presence of my family. Reading that blog made this feeling much clearer to me. Anything that makes me feel close to God makes me feel connected to a powerful force of love. Love, which I learned first from my family.
At my grandfather's funeral and for a few days before, I was surrounded by family. (including friends who are family) Even family so extended that I didn't even know some of them. From my father sitting beside me to a third cousin 7 times removed in the back pew, I felt SO much love. I could taste love in all the food people prepared for us, feel it in embraces from dear friends, hear it in the voices of my mom and sister singing, and see it on every face. It was just an omnipresent love. Now I think this must be what heaven is like and I'm so happy that my grandfather and many others are in the midst of that omnipresent love for eternity.
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