You always wanted to know what they were saying

Dear Readers,

I write to you today to confirm one of your worst fears. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, it must be told.

It's early spring and if you have crusty crust winter feet like me, you've recently ventured out to a nail salon to get a much needed pedicure.

It was a warm sunny afternoon as I ventured into Nail Trix in Towson, a lovely suburb of Baltimore. I chose my polish (Cajun Shrimp by OPI bc it's my fav) and was quickly seated in a pedicure chair with a nice warm tub of water waiting for me to soak my toesies in. As I chatted with two friends and flipped through a magazine, the man giving me a pedicure and his co-worker giving my friend a pedicure were also chatting away.

As you probably know (because you've been to salons with names like Nail Trix or Super Nails) they were not chatting in English. Occasionally they would exchange a few words then look at us and smile. This is par for the course at many establishments like this one. I have wondered time and again, "Are these people talking about me? Are they talking about how nasty my feet are?" You would be lying if you say you've never wondered this. You have.

I of course do not voice this concern EVER. I don't want people to think I'm judgmental, so I attempt to mind my own business, make small talk with the workers, and read my magazine.

Well my dear friends on this sunny spring day in April, I have confirmed our long time suspicions of the chatty, non-English speaking nail salon workers. They are, in fact, talking about you.

Here's how it went down:
Mel: (in my head) With a name like Nail Trix, I thought this place was going to be a dump. But it's really nice. I think I'll inquire about waxing services.

Mel: (Spoken aloud to the man giving pedicure.) This place is great! Do you all do eyebrow waxing?

Pedicure giving man: Yes we do. And we (points to woman giving pedicure to my friend) were just talking about how badly you need a wax.

Pedicure man then says something (not in English) to his friend and she begins to point and frown at my eyebrows.

So in a split second my suspicions of these people judging and discussing me in their language were confirmed. At this point I am so mortified that I immediately throw my friend under the bus by saying, "Well what about HER?! Were you talking about her eyebrows too?" Both workers agreed that she too needed a wax.

What did I do? Tell them I was offended? NO. Maybe next time on the wax? Of course not. (It was honestly unibrow status.)

I walked my freshly pedicured self into the back room for an eyebrow wax. Laid down on the table and didn't flinch once while the lady did work on my eyebrows. (brow) She was so surprised that I didn't scream out in agony after she pulled the first strip that she patted me on the shoulder and said good job.

I propped myself up on my elbows, looked her in the eye and said, "I know it probably looks like I've never had an eyebrow wax in my life but, I've actually been doing this for about the last 12 years. Don't worry I can take the pain." She smiled and proceeded to give me an amazing brow shape.


Moral of the story? 1. Yes, they are talking about you. 2. I highly recommend the waxing services at Nail Trix. And finally, 3. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, don't say anything at all. In any language.


Yours Truly,

Melissa Two Brows Rickman